Today..
It was just another normal working day..
But it was my 1st time driving Merz to work..
Coz my wira's stereo player was stolen by people on Monday night..
Driving to work on Tuesday, everything seems to be so silent..
I miss my radio..
And on the same day, while I was driving home, it was raining heavily..
And suddenly, there's a strong burnt smell coming out from the aircond..
I was scared, and turned off the aircond..
I then drove home slowly and carefully..
Afraid that there might be anything that has gone wrong with the car..
Then, on Wed, Bee fetched me to work, and another friend of mine fetch me back from work..
And today, the Merz is drove by me to work today..=)
Newayz..
Was thinking a lot these days..
Will the plan of migrating to Canada be realizing soon?
I'm afraid.. That everything I have in M'sia will be gone again..
It was such a painful memory, leaving everything behind to go for my diploma few years back..
And after nine months of putting bits and pieces of strength and faith to settle down in Canada, it turned out that I have to leave everything behind to come back from Canada!
And now.. Again!
Fate is really spinning me around, again and again..
I really hope to be settling down, building up friends, career and relationship..
But, will I have to leave everything back here again, and start all over again??
This time, will be the final decision to be rooted in Canada..
To have the thought to leave everyone and everything behind hurts a lot..
I hope, by cherishing people and things around, at least, there'll still be a chance, that when I come back once again, I'll be able to reconnect with everyone again..
What is relationship if there'll be distance?
I'm afraid of long distance relationship..
It is hurtful, painful, and yet, unspeakable..
Tears flowing, heart aching, mind lingering, soul leaving..
Is this what I get from loving others?
God.. you've imposed a lot of pain in me..
Can this not be the last, but the first to be of happiness to me?
Can the last one be the end of all this?
How I wish that I can have a say on everything that's planned..
To be able to choose my own path, and to be who I want to be..
Life's like a lucky draw..
We will never know what is in it for us..
Either happiness or dissapointment..
How I hope that I am able to know what is lying ahead waiting for me..
On that, I'll be able to manage my own plans, and destiny..
I want to know>>~~..The Journey My of Life..~~
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday in Netherland..=)
Friday (240910)
A silly me today..
Feeling emo and panic when my bf aren't msging me as usual..
on morning and nite msg..
I was scared..
Wondering what did I do wrong.. And wondering why..
Then, during msg, I realized that I was wrong in conveying my msg yest..
Using a wrong word on something which I don't mean on..
Luckily my bf forgave me..
He called me for the first time ever since I left M'sia on the 15th Sept 2010 ler..
Hehe..Real happy ler.. Then, we chatted, and it was just me, who think too much ni..=)
I missed him real real real real real much ler!!
Then, during afternoon, I had a cup noodle (Maggi)..
Haha..coz my milk is in Ice condition..
And I threw the whole milk away ler..
Then, I went out at 4.30pm, and went to my sister's company (VDL)..
Was lucky to get a bus, and I got down on the 5th traffic light..
Then, I started to walk all the way to VDL..
But, I got lost a bit in between, and it took me an hour before I get to meet Yb, and went to her company..
Was scared that time..And it was drizzling..
Then, we got the bicycle..
And I start to learn to cycle.. It was difficult as the bicycle was too high for me already..
And the break of the bike is on the peddal..
Then, we took pics in VDL..
And started our journey home..
Then, on one of the junction, Yb sudd stopped in front of me..
And I quickly sway to the side, and end up knocking into one house pillar and I flew off the bike..
Luckily, i just suffer hand and leg bruises and blue black only..
I thought I was gona get a broken arm or leg..
Thank God for the luck..=)
And we con't to cycle and reached home safetly..
Then, we put down our things, and get another bag, and we cycled out to buy groceries..
Got everything that we wanted, and went home at 8pm..
Happy to get all that we've wanted to buy..
Later on, just had pizza in room as dinner..
hehe..
And online, and watch drama and upload pictures..
Till night, and sleep ler..^^ Nitey Netherland.. Morning M'sia..=)
A silly me today..
Feeling emo and panic when my bf aren't msging me as usual..
on morning and nite msg..
I was scared..
Wondering what did I do wrong.. And wondering why..
Then, during msg, I realized that I was wrong in conveying my msg yest..
Using a wrong word on something which I don't mean on..
Luckily my bf forgave me..
He called me for the first time ever since I left M'sia on the 15th Sept 2010 ler..
Hehe..Real happy ler.. Then, we chatted, and it was just me, who think too much ni..=)
I missed him real real real real real much ler!!
Then, during afternoon, I had a cup noodle (Maggi)..
Haha..coz my milk is in Ice condition..
And I threw the whole milk away ler..
Then, I went out at 4.30pm, and went to my sister's company (VDL)..
Was lucky to get a bus, and I got down on the 5th traffic light..
Then, I started to walk all the way to VDL..
But, I got lost a bit in between, and it took me an hour before I get to meet Yb, and went to her company..
Was scared that time..And it was drizzling..
Then, we got the bicycle..
And I start to learn to cycle.. It was difficult as the bicycle was too high for me already..
And the break of the bike is on the peddal..
Then, we took pics in VDL..
And started our journey home..
Then, on one of the junction, Yb sudd stopped in front of me..
And I quickly sway to the side, and end up knocking into one house pillar and I flew off the bike..
Luckily, i just suffer hand and leg bruises and blue black only..
I thought I was gona get a broken arm or leg..
Thank God for the luck..=)
And we con't to cycle and reached home safetly..
Then, we put down our things, and get another bag, and we cycled out to buy groceries..
Got everything that we wanted, and went home at 8pm..
Happy to get all that we've wanted to buy..
Later on, just had pizza in room as dinner..
hehe..
And online, and watch drama and upload pictures..
Till night, and sleep ler..^^ Nitey Netherland.. Morning M'sia..=)
Friday, September 24, 2010
In Netherlands
Its been really a long time since i post something here..
Ive been through ups and downs..
Firstly, I've left my company "Orix Leasing M'sia Berhad" on 15th Sept 2010..
It took me a rough time before I can really decide on it..
It is a rushed resignation, which I have tendered for three days before I leave..
My immediate boss was sad, but, it is my final call..
The branch manager did asked me to stay by granting all my leave to Netherlands from 17th Sept 2010 till 10th October 2010..
But, it was all too late..
That time was the last day of my work in Orix..
And I have agreed to go over to my new company "Balda Solutions Sdn Bhd" in Pengkalan..
As I have to honour my words, I have to leave..
I felt so reluctant to leave, but.. it can only be kept in my heart, how much I wished to stay.....
Had a great lunch with my immediate boss.. Just me n him..
Chat on past memories.. I'll cherish memories we all once had..
Then, I came to Netherlands..
Was in Singapore 2 days before i depart here..
Its on the 17th Sept 2010 and reached on 18th Sept 2010..
This will be a 3 weeks holz for me..
A time to relax and enjoy myself..
Well..
days in Netherland till now is alright..
Its not too cold these days as compared to when me, my sister (Ybee) and her friend (Oliver) arrived..
It was raining when we arrived that day..
My sister and her friend will be having 3 months job attachment here in VDL company..
We registered ourselves into Woonhotel..
A budget inn i would say..
And I shared a room with my sister downstairs, whereas Oliver took the room on the highest floor (3rd floor)..
Its just like Canada over here..
but, its 6 hours behind M'sia time..
We met Mr. Lucas, who is the manager of this Inn..
He then took us out for our first meal (Lunch), at a chinese shop..
And the food was nice..=)
Later on, we went to the phone shop to get ourselves a phone number each..
Then, I called up parents and my bf..
I missed them all real much.....
Then, went to buy groceries and walked around town and went back home..
Then, the next day, we went to Park Theatre by bus..
Its a really nice park over there, and we took a number of pictures over there..
And we saw ducks and seagulls over there too..=)
We then moved on to go to Aquabest (Beach)..
We took the bus over there..
Then after we got down, we walked for about an hour to reach the Beach..
End up, nothing much to see there..
We then walked back to the bus stop, and took a bus back to Eindhoven town..
We bought some groceries, and walked back home..
Its really a tiring day.. But its nice to be out, and be near to the nature..=)
After that, its Monday..
Ybee and Oliver started their first day of job attachment today..
I'm just alone in the room..
Starting to watch dramas and go online..
The owner then came to pass me a new table and rubbish bin..
Till evening, they came back already..
And we went out to buy some groceries..
And back home..
hehe..
Tuesday.. It was the same..
Just that, I went out alone during the noon to buy some stuffs..
And I bought something to be bring back to M'sia..
hehe..
And afterthat, went home, and waited for Ybee to come back..
And cooked for her, and just watch drama and online.. And sleep..=)
Wednesday..
Mum told me that my maid's not gonna come back from Indo already..
She wana get marry over there..
I hope the best for her, and hope that she'll be blissful from today onwards..
Its such a hard parting, as she has always been the one I can look for all these years..
Someone closed to me..
More than just a friend.. But a part of my family..
And till evening, Ybee cycled back with Oliver..
They got their new bicycle from the company, and we went out to get some groceries and came back home..
Thursday..
I'm emo today..
I wonder why..
I missed my bf a lot today..
He did not talk much to me today..
Was busy in work I figured..
Then, he told me his colleagues (Engineers) some got divorced due to work..
I felt scared actually..
Will his job next time in the future will lead us into this kind of situation?
I may think too much.. Maybe, I'm too free sitting in the room till I think of all kinds of different possibility..
Sighz.. Emo feeling~~ Shoo Shoo~~
Then, during the afternoon, my sister, Yian, called me to give me my maid's phone number..
I called her and chatted for half an hour..
Hoping that she'll be back for at least one more month to take care of my father..
But, she will need some time to consider about it..
I hope I'll get a good news soon.....
So.. nighty ya.. Sleeping at 11pm today..=)
Ive been through ups and downs..
Firstly, I've left my company "Orix Leasing M'sia Berhad" on 15th Sept 2010..
It took me a rough time before I can really decide on it..
It is a rushed resignation, which I have tendered for three days before I leave..
My immediate boss was sad, but, it is my final call..
The branch manager did asked me to stay by granting all my leave to Netherlands from 17th Sept 2010 till 10th October 2010..
But, it was all too late..
That time was the last day of my work in Orix..
And I have agreed to go over to my new company "Balda Solutions Sdn Bhd" in Pengkalan..
As I have to honour my words, I have to leave..
I felt so reluctant to leave, but.. it can only be kept in my heart, how much I wished to stay.....
Had a great lunch with my immediate boss.. Just me n him..
Chat on past memories.. I'll cherish memories we all once had..
Then, I came to Netherlands..
Was in Singapore 2 days before i depart here..
Its on the 17th Sept 2010 and reached on 18th Sept 2010..
This will be a 3 weeks holz for me..
A time to relax and enjoy myself..
Well..
days in Netherland till now is alright..
Its not too cold these days as compared to when me, my sister (Ybee) and her friend (Oliver) arrived..
It was raining when we arrived that day..
My sister and her friend will be having 3 months job attachment here in VDL company..
We registered ourselves into Woonhotel..
A budget inn i would say..
And I shared a room with my sister downstairs, whereas Oliver took the room on the highest floor (3rd floor)..
Its just like Canada over here..
but, its 6 hours behind M'sia time..
We met Mr. Lucas, who is the manager of this Inn..
He then took us out for our first meal (Lunch), at a chinese shop..
And the food was nice..=)
Later on, we went to the phone shop to get ourselves a phone number each..
Then, I called up parents and my bf..
I missed them all real much.....
Then, went to buy groceries and walked around town and went back home..
Then, the next day, we went to Park Theatre by bus..
Its a really nice park over there, and we took a number of pictures over there..
And we saw ducks and seagulls over there too..=)
We then moved on to go to Aquabest (Beach)..
We took the bus over there..
Then after we got down, we walked for about an hour to reach the Beach..
End up, nothing much to see there..
We then walked back to the bus stop, and took a bus back to Eindhoven town..
We bought some groceries, and walked back home..
Its really a tiring day.. But its nice to be out, and be near to the nature..=)
After that, its Monday..
Ybee and Oliver started their first day of job attachment today..
I'm just alone in the room..
Starting to watch dramas and go online..
The owner then came to pass me a new table and rubbish bin..
Till evening, they came back already..
And we went out to buy some groceries..
And back home..
hehe..
Tuesday.. It was the same..
Just that, I went out alone during the noon to buy some stuffs..
And I bought something to be bring back to M'sia..
hehe..
And afterthat, went home, and waited for Ybee to come back..
And cooked for her, and just watch drama and online.. And sleep..=)
Wednesday..
Mum told me that my maid's not gonna come back from Indo already..
She wana get marry over there..
I hope the best for her, and hope that she'll be blissful from today onwards..
Its such a hard parting, as she has always been the one I can look for all these years..
Someone closed to me..
More than just a friend.. But a part of my family..
And till evening, Ybee cycled back with Oliver..
They got their new bicycle from the company, and we went out to get some groceries and came back home..
Thursday..
I'm emo today..
I wonder why..
I missed my bf a lot today..
He did not talk much to me today..
Was busy in work I figured..
Then, he told me his colleagues (Engineers) some got divorced due to work..
I felt scared actually..
Will his job next time in the future will lead us into this kind of situation?
I may think too much.. Maybe, I'm too free sitting in the room till I think of all kinds of different possibility..
Sighz.. Emo feeling~~ Shoo Shoo~~
Then, during the afternoon, my sister, Yian, called me to give me my maid's phone number..
I called her and chatted for half an hour..
Hoping that she'll be back for at least one more month to take care of my father..
But, she will need some time to consider about it..
I hope I'll get a good news soon.....
So.. nighty ya.. Sleeping at 11pm today..=)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Wish..
Why is it a taboo to be planning ahead of time?
Is it just because that people in life just are too afraid to face it?
Or is it that people are reluctant to let go of everything that they have now and leave?
Well.. In my perspective, life's just a stretch of destiny planned by God for me..
To learn the different spices in life..
Sweetness.. Bitterness.. Sourness.. Spicyness..
All these combined into a brand new memory which we grasped on forever..
On our deathbed, only memories created in this world can be taken along..
We have to leave everything which we owned or once treasured or loved behind..
This feeling is definately heartstabbing..
In life, we can strive and achieve on everything we wished and hoped for..
But when its our time to leave, only other people can help to finish what we hoped for..
Hence.. Here is my wish, where I hope there's someone who will get to complete what I wished for..
When my time's up..
I hope to be placed in a white casket..
Wearing a white silky dress..
Holding two white roses..
And be surrounded by white, pink and blue roses..
Then.. Be it to be burried or put into flames..
I just hope I can be placed together with my loved ones who is already up there with God..
I would like to have songs sang by my loved ones, relatives or friends..
To be able to hear their voices for one last time would really be wonderful..
To have a speech session whereby all are invited to voice out what they feel about me..
Be it good or bad.. I'll be happy that I'm remembered..
Just that, I hope that after this, all the bad memories can be remorsed..
I hope that people who come will wear white clothings..
So that there is no darkness around..
I hope to have my diaries placed together with me..
So that even if I have to leave anad forced to forget this journey of life..
At least I can read the diaries I've written, and reminisce back on the days that I have had before..
If there is anyone who is strong..
Please give strength, encouragement and support to my loved ones..
Help them overcome the sadness inside..
And to offer them hugs, so that they wouldn't feel so alone and sad..
Do remember me once in a while and drop me a visit whenever you all are free..
I'll be real happy to have a bit of updates from all of you..
Do sing a song or two and I'll sing it with you in heart..=)
Lastly..
Thank you for all the memories shared together..
Thank you for all the seasons and all the reasons I'm loved and treasured..
Thank you for all the understanding and care showered on me..
I hope that all my loved ones will know that I Love Them Real Much..
Always is and always will be..
Eventhough I did not put it in words everyday..
Or I might not be able to show how much I Love Them..
But well..
I hope at least, there's a part of the memories we shared..
Will be able to trigger the love I have for my loved ones..
I do Love my family and loved ones..
For Now and Always..
Is it just because that people in life just are too afraid to face it?
Or is it that people are reluctant to let go of everything that they have now and leave?
Well.. In my perspective, life's just a stretch of destiny planned by God for me..
To learn the different spices in life..
Sweetness.. Bitterness.. Sourness.. Spicyness..
All these combined into a brand new memory which we grasped on forever..
On our deathbed, only memories created in this world can be taken along..
We have to leave everything which we owned or once treasured or loved behind..
This feeling is definately heartstabbing..
In life, we can strive and achieve on everything we wished and hoped for..
But when its our time to leave, only other people can help to finish what we hoped for..
Hence.. Here is my wish, where I hope there's someone who will get to complete what I wished for..
When my time's up..
I hope to be placed in a white casket..
Wearing a white silky dress..
Holding two white roses..
And be surrounded by white, pink and blue roses..
Then.. Be it to be burried or put into flames..
I just hope I can be placed together with my loved ones who is already up there with God..
I would like to have songs sang by my loved ones, relatives or friends..
To be able to hear their voices for one last time would really be wonderful..
To have a speech session whereby all are invited to voice out what they feel about me..
Be it good or bad.. I'll be happy that I'm remembered..
Just that, I hope that after this, all the bad memories can be remorsed..
I hope that people who come will wear white clothings..
So that there is no darkness around..
I hope to have my diaries placed together with me..
So that even if I have to leave anad forced to forget this journey of life..
At least I can read the diaries I've written, and reminisce back on the days that I have had before..
If there is anyone who is strong..
Please give strength, encouragement and support to my loved ones..
Help them overcome the sadness inside..
And to offer them hugs, so that they wouldn't feel so alone and sad..
Do remember me once in a while and drop me a visit whenever you all are free..
I'll be real happy to have a bit of updates from all of you..
Do sing a song or two and I'll sing it with you in heart..=)
Lastly..
Thank you for all the memories shared together..
Thank you for all the seasons and all the reasons I'm loved and treasured..
Thank you for all the understanding and care showered on me..
I hope that all my loved ones will know that I Love Them Real Much..
Always is and always will be..
Eventhough I did not put it in words everyday..
Or I might not be able to show how much I Love Them..
But well..
I hope at least, there's a part of the memories we shared..
Will be able to trigger the love I have for my loved ones..
I do Love my family and loved ones..
For Now and Always..
What a Day..
Today..
felt so emo..
i wonder why..
mebe itz d weather..
since it's raining..
hence, the emo-ness came..
N well..
I've kinda sorted things out which have been in my heart for this week d..
felt kinda relieved when I know that I ain't doing anything wrong and not distrusted..
Coz I cherish the bond of trust in between..=)
Life's like a jizzaw puzzel..
We wudn't know which puzzel will be placed in every second..
And I hope, my puzzel will be placed accordingly and be glued for good..=)
N i saw a full rainbow today..
from a mountain to another mountain..
I was winding down the window, taking pictures..
Felt like a small kid which have not seen rainbow before..haha..
N it makes me reminese the moments where I saw rainbow with the one I cherished..
Saw twice.. or izit trice on it ler..
hehe..
When rainbow appears, i noe, everything's gona be fine^^
N had crabs for dinner today..
dapao-ed back to eat..
felt so happy..=)
haha..
long time didn't really go out for crabs d..
and now, I can have all my time sitting in home eating crabs^^
Tomorrow gota go work again..
Hope everything's gona be fine again..=)
felt so emo..
i wonder why..
mebe itz d weather..
since it's raining..
hence, the emo-ness came..
N well..
I've kinda sorted things out which have been in my heart for this week d..
felt kinda relieved when I know that I ain't doing anything wrong and not distrusted..
Coz I cherish the bond of trust in between..=)
Life's like a jizzaw puzzel..
We wudn't know which puzzel will be placed in every second..
And I hope, my puzzel will be placed accordingly and be glued for good..=)
N i saw a full rainbow today..
from a mountain to another mountain..
I was winding down the window, taking pictures..
Felt like a small kid which have not seen rainbow before..haha..
N it makes me reminese the moments where I saw rainbow with the one I cherished..
Saw twice.. or izit trice on it ler..
hehe..
When rainbow appears, i noe, everything's gona be fine^^
N had crabs for dinner today..
dapao-ed back to eat..
felt so happy..=)
haha..
long time didn't really go out for crabs d..
and now, I can have all my time sitting in home eating crabs^^
Tomorrow gota go work again..
Hope everything's gona be fine again..=)
Aloha^^
Its been a really really long while since I wanted to set up a blog account..
Yet, the thought had been pushed behind again n again..
As I just could not find the motivation to just click in and creat an account..
So.. here I am..
Finally^^ ~~~
Well..
First time on blog..
Find it hard to start blabbering what I wana tell..
Guess.. It arent easy to talk to my ownself here..haha..
Hmm..
Life has been facing quite a bit of ups and downs..
Working life aren't as easy as it seems to be..
There's a lot more in a company whereby we will only realize we're in the REAL world once we got into the working life..
It is just not easy being an Adult..
Duh..I sounds sooooo old...XP haha..
Anyhow, life is just a pile of burden that we hope we can shed it away..
But well...
As easy as it seems, but it is definately like a chewing gum..
The more we hope we can get rid of it, the harder it sticks to us..
Am learning to cope up with the stress level and different kind of lifestyle..
Living as an adult is certainly a brand new experience to me..
It has been quite a bit of whirl and twirl in life..
Where I get to learn the reality of life bit by bit..
Life's like a shot of pictures, revealing itself to us in a different light..
A light where I hope I can be shield off from..
Listen to songs over and over again..
Trying to find a suitable song to calm me down..
To try to indulge myself in a different relaxed world..
Away from cluttered issues..
Its Saturday today..
and gona keep this intro short for now..
~~Signing off~~
Silvershadow 22082010
Yet, the thought had been pushed behind again n again..
As I just could not find the motivation to just click in and creat an account..
So.. here I am..
Finally^^ ~~~
Well..
First time on blog..
Find it hard to start blabbering what I wana tell..
Guess.. It arent easy to talk to my ownself here..haha..
Hmm..
Life has been facing quite a bit of ups and downs..
Working life aren't as easy as it seems to be..
There's a lot more in a company whereby we will only realize we're in the REAL world once we got into the working life..
It is just not easy being an Adult..
Duh..I sounds sooooo old...XP haha..
Anyhow, life is just a pile of burden that we hope we can shed it away..
But well...
As easy as it seems, but it is definately like a chewing gum..
The more we hope we can get rid of it, the harder it sticks to us..
Am learning to cope up with the stress level and different kind of lifestyle..
Living as an adult is certainly a brand new experience to me..
It has been quite a bit of whirl and twirl in life..
Where I get to learn the reality of life bit by bit..
Life's like a shot of pictures, revealing itself to us in a different light..
A light where I hope I can be shield off from..
Listen to songs over and over again..
Trying to find a suitable song to calm me down..
To try to indulge myself in a different relaxed world..
Away from cluttered issues..
Its Saturday today..
and gona keep this intro short for now..
~~Signing off~~
Silvershadow 22082010
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